You don’t need to be everybody’s darling to build a successful career or business

This article is about breaking free from people-pleasing habits to build a successful, purpose-driven career or business by choosing respect over approval, setting strong boundaries, and embracing authenticity.

When Marta landed her first leadership role, she was thrilled. Years of hard work had finally paid off. But just a few months in, the sparkle faded. She found herself constantly overthinking every decision, rereading emails five times before sending them, and saying “yes” far too often—just to avoid disappointing others.

The problem? Marta was trying to be everybody’s darling.

Instead of leading with clarity and confidence, she spent her energy trying to be liked by everyone. And it drained her. Her team grew confused. Performance suffered. And worst of all—she started doubting whether she was even cut out to lead.

If this feels familiar, you’re not alone.

Many of us are wired to seek approval, especially when stepping into new roles or launching a business. But the truth is: you don’t need to be liked by everyone to be respected, effective, or successful.

Here’s how to shift your mindset and step into your true power:

Choose respect over approval

Being liked is nice—it feels good in the moment. But being respected? That’s what creates long-term impact and credibility.

As a leader or entrepreneur, your role isn’t to be everyone’s favorite. It’s to set the vision, make hard decisions, and steer the ship—even when it ruffles a few feathers. That kind of responsibility often means saying “no,” challenging the status quo, or holding people accountable. These actions might not always win a popularity contest—but they earn you trust and authority over time.

Respect is built through consistency, fairness, and integrity. It’s what people remember when the noise fades. You don’t earn it by constantly bending, apologizing, or watering yourself down just to keep others happy. In fact, when you chase approval too much, you often lose the very essence of what makes you a strong, clear, and grounded leader.

Try this: Before making a decision, pause and ask: Is this aligned with my values, my vision, and my goals? instead of Will they like me for this? You’ll notice how much more confident and centered you feel.

Set boundaries early

People-pleasing often comes with a hidden cost: your time, your energy, and your peace of mind. When you're constantly saying "yes" to avoid conflict or to be seen as helpful, you end up with blurred boundaries—and eventually, burnout. Overcommitting becomes the norm, rest takes a backseat, and resentment slowly builds under the surface.

Strong boundaries aren’t about pushing people away—they’re about honoring your capacity and protecting your priorities. If you want to lead effectively or build a sustainable business, your focus needs to be on what matters most—not on trying to do everything for everyone.

The earlier you set clear limits, the easier it is for others to respect them. And here’s the beautiful part: when you say “no” with kindness and confidence, you actually earn more respect, not less. You teach others how to treat you—and you model what healthy leadership looks like.

Try this: Start practicing go-to phrases like, “I really appreciate you thinking of me, but I’m at capacity right now,” or “That’s not something I can take on, but I wish you the best with it.” Say it with warmth and certainty. The world won’t end—your energy will thank you.

Redefine what “Being Liked” means

Let’s be honest—most of us grew up with the belief that being liked is the ultimate validation. And in many environments, it feels like being liked equals being successful. But when you start building a career or business, that belief can become a trap.

When you tie your worth or decisions to what others think of you, you start performing instead of leading. You hesitate to speak up, you soften your truth, and you try to be everything to everyone. And here’s the twist: the harder you try to be liked by all, the more disconnected you become from the people who would actually love the real you.

The truth? The right people—those who matter in your growth and journey—won’t just like you, they’ll value your honesty, your boundaries, and your boldness. They’ll respect you not for being perfect, but for being real. And those who only liked you when you were overextending or self-silencing? Let them go. That’s not your tribe.

Try this: Start being intentional about your circle. Surround yourself with people—mentors, peers, collaborators—who value growth over comfort, honesty over flattery, and courage over conformity. Watch how your confidence shifts when you're not busy editing yourself to fit in.

Final thought

Marta eventually had her wake-up call—a moment of deep clarity. She realized that her role as a leader wasn’t about being liked by everyone in the room. It wasn’t about smoothing every edge or avoiding every tough conversation. Her real job was to lead with purpose, to make bold decisions, and to create an environment where others could grow—even if that meant not being the favorite person all the time.

It was a tough shift, but a powerful one. The day she let go of the exhausting pressure to be “everybody’s darling” was the day she truly stepped into her strength. Her energy came back. Her team responded with more respect. Her vision became clearer. She wasn’t performing anymore—she was leading.

So ask yourself honestly: Are you building your career or business based on what others expect of you? Or are you building it based on what you’re here to do?

Because real impact, true confidence, and lasting success don’t come from chasing approval. They come from showing up as your full self—boldly, unapologetically, and with a clear sense of purpose.

Let that be your permission slip to stop trying to please everyone. Start leading from within. That’s where your power lives.

***

Stay updated with the latest insights and expert tips! Subscribe now and never miss a new post.